Friday 15 January 2016

WHY DO WE STOP ASKING?



If there is one trait I love about kids, it is their ability to ask questions even if they know the answer. Some of their questions are frustrating and annoying but your refusal to answer them won’t stop them from asking. Neither would your answers end their quizzing.

The continuous questioning not only help grow their understanding of things (knowledge or insights), it does mean they respect your opinions and hold it in high esteem. They also help you learn more as it would seem embarrassing not to know a question to an answer.

Often times we see the kids in us-the constant badgering for answers to ‘unserious’ questions. But as we grow and age, we stop questioning, even when there is the need to and pretend we know it all. What accounts for this lack of questioning and seeking answers and further clarifications?

Is it the society which as conservative as it is shut you up from asking questions? Is the school systems which labels a child (teen) ‘too known’ for probing and sometimes challenging teachers on certain grounds? Is it the work environment which doesn’t tolerant the culture of asking and putting in your one pesewa thoughts on the table? 

Or the fear of the boss getting livid and describing you in contemptuous manner as ‘not smart’? Or the friends who mock you and make you feel intellectually inadequate or sarcastically tag you ‘too known’ when you try seeking an explanation, asking (a) question(s) or challenging a position?

The ‘Whys’, ’What’s’, ‘How’s, ‘Is this ok? Did I do it right? Do you like it? Can you explain further? These questions might seem annoying and unnecessary but go a long way to enlighten the one asking the question as well as building the confidence of the ‘asker’.

Questions, Questioning and Questioning.  Answers, Assurance and Re-assurances. These are the pot of growth water which one drinks from in other to grow and survive and become a complete human being.

The educated mind is one that continues to ask and probe further even when the answer is clear as daylight. A man who refuses or stops asking questions is dead and a lost soul. And a society which does not encourage the asking of questions is one at the throes of decaying for beneath the strong foundations of  all great nations is the culture of asking, of probing, of challenging notions, dogmas and norms.

To choose between a society where citizens chose silence over questioning or one where asking questions is a past time despite the consequences won’t be a difficult task. I know which one I’d love to live in. So, let’s go back to the days when we were kids and ask questions without any fear or reservations.   

5 comments:

  1. in the house i grew up in asking questions was really encouraged. My dad would try to answer questions as best as he could and sometimes if he didn't know the answer, he would say so.
    I learnt from him that it was ok not to know something so long as you we were willing to find the answer.

    However, what was considered good in my house was considered disrespectful by others. I got in trouble quite a lot for asking grown ups why things were a certain way.

    In the end, i finally learnt to keep some questions to myself. Sad

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  2. Kudos to your parents. Some shut you up thus eroding your confidence and turning you into a timid being.

    Thanks for commenting

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  3. I realized that not being able to ask the people around me either cos it'd appear disrespectful or they wouldn't have the patience to understand where i'm coming from and answer me, didn't mean I had to be satisfied with having no answers. I just looked for the answers - read, compare, learn, have conversations which can also give you answers to questions you sometimes didn't even know you had. I would however still ask anyway, some of the time.
    As for the questions directed at righting wrongs, exposing rot, bettering society, we have to ask them, no debate.

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  4. I realized that not being able to ask the people around me either cos it'd appear disrespectful or they wouldn't have the patience to understand where i'm coming from and answer me, didn't mean I had to be satisfied with having no answers. I just looked for the answers - read, compare, learn, have conversations which can also give you answers to questions you sometimes didn't even know you had. I would however still ask anyway, some of the time.
    As for the questions directed at righting wrongs, exposing rot, bettering society, we have to ask them, no debate.

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  5. Asking questions was something daddy always encouraged in the house. The attitude that I picked up in constantly doing so somehow didn't go down well with some people, as in Efo's case. Surprisingly, teachers back at my primary and JHS didn't like my attitude of probing and questioning, to the extent that they would once or twice discuss amongst themselves how 'too knowing' daddy and I are...Lol, it was even worst when I didn't do well in a subject..

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